Resilience: 5 tips to rebound after an event

Say "yes" to happiness, welcome your emotions, listen to your intuition, accept to trust ... Discover our advice to bounce back after a life test like a divorce, the death of a loved one or the loss of a job.

Express your emotions

Give yourself the right to express your emotions, is essential to get off to a good start. Whatever the test, the difficulty encountered, contrary to what we often think, repress his emotions does nothing to advance, and does not make us more "Fort", on the contrary ...

Stay tuned for your feelings, your emotions, identify what they are: sadness, anger, feeling of injustice, disappointment ... Once identified, welcome these emotions in you, and let them come up as they come, in order to evacuate them and avoid the effect "pressure cooker".

Stay tuned for your intuition

By listening to your emotions, your feelings that go through you, also pay attention to your intuition. This little inner voice, which is sometimes difficult to hear or listen to. We are all endowed with an intuition, but we rarely listen to it (if ever!). And if we had a little confidence, listening to each other and following his intuition, who often whispers things that will do us good ...

Use your aggression ... wisely

As Ariane Clavo points out in her book Finding your vital momentum, "your aggression can be a resource to the extent that it is your ability to defend yourself"and it is not uncommon to feel a certain aggressiveness as a result of a trial, of oneself, of others, or of life more generally.

The psychologist points out that "when it is not connected with anger or rage but with self-esteem, aggression allows you to make yourself respected, to hear your needs and to give you theenergy to give you things that you value, but at first you find difficult to obtain ". The idea is to transform the aggressiveness that you have in you, engine to rebound.

Accept to trust

Knowing how to ask for help is a strength possessed by the great resilient: knowing who to rely on (especially on oneself), and identifying people who can help us is essential to move forward and bounce back after a trial.

Many of us think that we can only rely on ourselves ... mistake! You have around you, relatives, acquaintances, and even outsiders, who can help you, provided you accept it.

If you feel the need, be accompanied by a specialist, or turn to positive people, whom you trust, who inspire you and whose life course motivates you: for sure these people will pull you to the top.

The idea is to "know how to find support, ask for help and have enough confidence in each other to dare to rely on him", as summarized by Ariane Calvo.

Say "yes" to happiness

As Ariane Calvo explains, resilience is the result of an exceptional ability to solve problems, based on "an appetite for life in any event". It is a feeling of personal values: the right to happiness, the right to life, "I deserve it and accept to be happy and I let myself go beyond the difficulties encountered".

Need to boost self esteem? Take a blank piece of paper and a pen, and write down all your qualities, skills, talents, great and small successes (all areas combined). Take a moment to visualize all this and soak in, and do not hesitate to reread this list as soon as you feel the need.

If it is difficult for you to do this work on yourself, turn to caring people around you and ask them why they love you, write down everything that comes out of it, and learn how you perceive.

Find many more tips in Finding Vital Momentum, 10 Keys to Bounce Back After a Trial, by Ariane Calvo, First Editions, 14.95 euros.

Video: The Science of Adversity, Resilience, and Transformation. Audrey Stillerman. TEDxUofIChicago (November 2019).


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